My Dear Wormwood,
Since my retirement it has often seemed to me, looking back on my long career, that the mistake my generation made was to assume that humans were much more intelligent than they actually are. The world is now such a corrupt place that you young devils have got an easy time.
I went along today to eavesdrop on the Sunday morning service at a church where our arch-enemy, C.S. Lewis, used to attend - yes, the same man who stole and illegally published our correspondence. (There really should be stricter laws protecting us from such outrage.) The church is called Holy Trinity, Headington Quarry.
There was an inordinately long sermon by a female vicar named the Reverend Heather Carter. Sermon? Do I call it a sermon? It was not a sermon by any known Christian standards. It was a rambling, self-indulgent boast about how terribly well she is doing in the role of vicar of a nearby parish. She started out by casting aspersions on the behaviour of her predecessor in the job, and having raised a few laughs at his expense, went on to expatiate on how she is doing infinitely better.
She told us a lot of intimate details about members of her congregation, their relationships, their diseases, their history of drug-addiction and so on - specifiying each of them by name. How wonderfully candid! She found time, between detailed accounts of the rehearsals for her musical shows, and graphic descriptions of her building plans, to tell us that at neighbouring churches babies born to single mothers are "not allowed" to be baptized, a claim I do not believe for a moment. I wonder how many people in the congregation did believe it. Humans are far less intelligent than we used to imagine.
Woefully unintelligent too, was her bracketing of "race" (meaning different-looking types of human originating in different parts of the creation) with "sexuality or orientation" so that acceptance of people regardless of skin colour was confused with acceptance of all behaviours. Sin and skin were casually muddled and nobody in the congregation was alert enough to shout out "Fraud!" Along with this sloppy thinking she indulged a prolix self-congratulation for being so confused.
Have you seen this woman's Twitter account? It proves she is a useful idiot, enlisted on Our Side. She is proclaiming to people that morality is "hate" and must be abolished in favour of every sort of gross immorality as soon as possible. Never assume humans are clever.
In the prayers at Holy Trinity, the Rev. James Stickings gave ample sign of how far downhill the Church of England has gone since Professor Lewis sat in that pew. His prayers were largely pre-occupied with "climate change", and said nothing at all about the victims of Christian genocide by our loyal followers in Syria and adjacent lands. He did not pray for Christians persecuted in Iran, the USA and countless other countries around the world, nor did he mention victims of terrorist attacks, grooming gangs, natural disasters such as the earthquake in Nepal, epidemics, caste systems, torture, trachoma, guinea worm, or oppressive communist regimes that can bulldoze your house overnight. Instead he prayed for God's wrath on car companies that falsfy their emissions data, and God's help for the degenerate and corrupt, those who are according to him "persecuted for their sexuality". He literally stood up there and prayed to Sod Almighty instead of God Almighty.
When the Church of England is so wholly won over to Our Side, your lot have certainly got an easy time of it. You might as well retire and join me here. I do advise you however to bring your own laptop as the queues for using this darn machine can be irritatingly long, quite hellish in fact.
Your affectionate uncle,