Sunday, 18 January 2015

Why I Have Just Bought a Second Vacuum Cleaner - and You Should Too

I 've just bought a spare vacuum cleaner, identical to the one I've already got.

Was my hoover lonely? Did it need a friend? Am I so houseproud that I am worried that I might lack a hoover for a few days, or so hyper-speedy that I hoover in stereo with one held in each hand?
No, the reason is that the EU has banned all vacuum cleaners with a power consumption above 1600W which is about the average consumption for all of them up till now. You can't make or even import any vacuum cleaners more powerful than that any more, So I jumped at the last chance to buy a really high-powered one while it is still available. I will store it in the attic until needed. (Or until we leave the EU).
I love the word hoover. It started as a brand-name, then became a noun - everybody was expected to own a hoover. Then it became a verb - to hoover, or occasionally in the mouths of small children, "to hoove". Perfectly logical. You dust with a duster, you cook with a cooker, you mow with a mower, So you must hoove with a hoover. As a child I wondered why the director of the FBI, J. Edgar Hoover, was named after a vacuum cleaner.
If there's one thing I can't stand it's feeble vacuum cleaners. They just take two or three times as long to do the same job. The EU statements say that they expect manufacturers to make new models more "energy efficient" but no such models have yet appeared. The best way to make your hoover energy-efficient is to empty out all the dust in it and inspect it for blockages regularly.The EU is not stopping there, their intention is to go on and reduce the permitted maximum to only 900W by 2017. So eager are they to cut down our electricity consumption and stop hypothetical global warming that they are preventing us from buying what we need to keep our own domestic environment clean and healthy. And they are introducing similar restrictions on cookers, toasters, hairdryers and blenders.
It does seem that there is no aspect of our life that Big Government is not determined to invade, dictate and regulate. But then the people up there passing these laws are not doing their own cleaning ,are they?

No comments:

Post a Comment