Friday, 13 December 2013

World AIDS Day 4th December 2013

Every year we have a special day to celebrate AIDS and congratulate all those people who have done the most sterling work spreading this disease world-wide. It has been another year of glorious global achievement. Rising infections, more deaths and vast profits for the pharmaceutical industry are all good news. The NHS spends £1 billion per year on anti-retro-viral drugs that fool patients they are not really ill, and keep them fit enough to carry on with the same behaviour that caused this great blessing in the first place. This is a good way of getting rid of surplus money nobody needed or wanted.
Soon we will see a special Nobel Prize for AIDS and the first likely recipient is Gaetan Dugas. This Canadian airline flight attendant did pioneering work in the field. Hardly anyone had AIDS in the early 1980s, but thanks to Mr Dugas and his 2,500 friends, in New York and elsewhere, that problem was solved. Isn't it just cute that his name was GAY-tan?

Gaëtan Dugas.jpg

Mr Dugas died in 1984 at the age of 31 but there is no reason why a Nobel Prize should not be awarded posthumously.
However, Mr Dugas has a rival for the coveted trophy. This is a certain Robert Rayford, a teenage male prostitute who died in Missouri in 1969 at the age of 18. His death was unexplained until tests were carried out on frozen tissue samples in 1987, establishing that he had AIDS and was doing ground-breaking work while Dugas was still a kid in school. Naturally his relatives would be proud for him to get the prize.

The medical profession does all it can to ensure that everybody now has an EQUAL CHANCE of catching this illness and a FAIR opportunity to spread it to other people. But according to official statements issued by the UK's Public Health Chief, Professor Kevin Fenton, and by the American Centre for Disease Control and Prevention, there are still some people who are not doing enough to promote and maximize this disease. These people are called "heterosexuals" and they display a bigoted preference for partners of the opposite sex, sometimes remaining with one for a lifetime.

Professor Fenton said that the likelihood of heterosexuals getting AIDS was only 11% of that of other people in low-income countries, and 4% in high-income countries. Heterosexuals are simply not doing their bit in spreading global pandemic!
The CDC agreed, pointing out that since heterosexuals are 98% of the population they should be getting 98% of new HIV infections, yet at present they only get 35%. That leaves plenty of room for improvement. I suggest that heterosexuals should read the website of the Terrence Higgins Trust to get some ideas on how to catch up with everybody else. No sense in being left out.
Everybody must ask themselves what they can do to address this problem. It starts with you! Maybe we should invite some people like Gaetan Dugas to come and talk to kindergarten children and tell them all about his exciting life. Then get the local Robert Rayford to write teaching materials for classes in year 1-11.
Oh sorry, I'm told we have already done this.

Coming soon...a World Day of Thanks for Lung Cancer. Smokers will be Marching in Pride.ëtan_Dugas


  1. You forget to mention the Stirling work of the National Blood Service who are redoubling their efforts in making sure that the heterosexuals don't miss out on a once in a life time opportunity of getting an STD, by getting gays to generously donate their blood into the National Blood Bank . Read all about it:

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