At last ! The old Press Standards Board is going to be replaced with a new Royal Charter, so that our corrupt politicians can tell our unscrupulous journalists what not to write.
The new system will consist of voluntary ethical standards for editors to embrace out of the goodness of their hearts, and will be adopted by nobody, enforced by no particular means and will certainly not infringe that sacred liberty of the media to snoop, steal, and slander with impunity as they have always done before. There will be a carrot that nobody wants and a stick that nobody uses, which will ensure that newspapers and websites can go on eavesdropping and publishing brazen lies.
And this is despite the fact that the EU is secretly pouring millions of pounds of our money into supporting lobby groups that want to censor the press. Don't worry, they won't censor anything really malicious or libellous - just offensive stuff, you know, telling us to leave the EU and that sort of thing.
We can't have that!