Monday, 1 April 2013

Devil Brings Case for Discrimination,

The arch-angel Lucifer, a.k.a. Satan or the Devil, is going to the European Court of Human Rights with his case against God for illegal discrimination.
Lucifer is arguing that his exclusion from Heaven and demotion from his status as arch-angel are discriminatory and he is seeking compensation. A solicitor representing him said, "We see no reason why rebellion, disobedience, or transgression of arbitrary laws should be the basis for ending our client's contract. As for the Fall of Man, that is simply not relevant. You cannot prove it has any connection with Lucifer. All angels are equal. They deserve equal rights."
   An attempt to extradite Lucifer to Hades has already failed, as his lawyers argued that there was a danger that he may be subjected to torture. Some of the evidence against him may have been obtained using torture and until this has been disproved, Lucifer is being accommodated in a five-star hotel in Park Lane, London along with his retinue, and provided with a security guard at the tax-payers' expense. It is not clear whether the security guard is meant to protect him or the public.
     Lucifer has several times in recent years been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. If the ECHR decides in his favour, Lucifer will be re-instated in his previous position and will get an automatic right to equal media time for his agenda. Unwary denunciations may soon be classified as "hate-speech". If successful, his case will mean big payouts for Beelzebub, Belial, Moloch and many others. If not successful, he says he will take his case to the UN.

The Devil will be getting legal aid.

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