Her Majesty the Queen signed a new Commonwealth rights charter at Marlborough House this week.
The Charter says: “We are implacably opposed to all forms of discrimination, whether rooted in gender, race, colour, creed, political belief or other grounds.”
All forms of discrimination? What does this mean? Bear in mind that discrimination is actually a good thing. Discrimination means being able to make the thousands of necessary distinctions between one thing and another. I discriminate between good wine and bad or mediocre. I discriminate between good musical performance and lousy. I discriminate between truth and lies, fairness and injustice, but doing so will apparently now be illegal.
So when applying for a job, I need not in future state my qualifications. The employer will not be allowed to "discriminate" between those who have a first-class degree and those who have not a single O-level. They will not even be allowed to discriminate between those who speak the local language and those who don't. They won't be allowed to discriminate between those who have got job experience or references and those who haven 't. All of that is certainly discrimination.
Political parties will not be allowed to discriminate on grounds of your political beliefs when you join. That will certainly suit the British Labour Party, who recently allowed a former Nazi and animal rights crank to become a councillor at Milton Keynes.
A reviewer will not be allowed to discriminate between good and bad writing, or between an original story and a clichéd one. We won't be allowed to say whether acting in a film or play was good or bad. All that is discrimination.
Presumably hospitals will not be allowed to discriminate between those who are sick or injured, and those who are healthy. They must all be treated alike, otherwise that would be "discrimination". To put men and women in the same wards will become legally mandatory and they must all be given the same pills and operations. Men must be admitted to pregnancy classes and labour wards and allowed to give birth if they wish, to avoid discrimination on grounds of "gender".
An atheist must be allowed to become a priest to avoid discrimination on grounds of "creed". And religious people must be allowed to join the Secular Society.
Very short people must be allowed to win netball games and blind people must be permitted to drive cars, because otherwise that would be discrimination.
When I give feedback on any goods or services, it must all be the same, because to make any distinction between better and worse is discrimination.
The Queen signed it, so geddover it, it's law!