Sunday, 27 May 2012

Gratitude European style

We have bankrupted ourselves paying massive bail-outs to the EU to "save" the Eurozone. We have sent them countless billions over the past two years with the result that we have had to cut everything in this country to the bone, Public services, infrastructure, investment in the future, have all been disregarded, in order to pour money down the bottomless Euro-drain. The Eurocrats have awarded themselves even bigger budgets and more extravagant subsidies while talking about "austerity".
That is in addition to the figure some of you may have heard before, of £50 million per day that we give them as our membership fee for their little club.

Then they place us 25th in the Eurovision Song Contest. It's the biggest national humiliation since Gallipolli. Where is their gratitude? Where is their sense of obligation and decency? Aren't they grateful even for us sending them Catherine Ashton to run the world and sort out everybody's problems? Why didn't the Greeks and the Irish vote for us after taking so much of our money? Answer: because they don't give a damn.

Arnold George Dorsey is typical of the older generation in Britain now who cannot afford to retire. With the pensions crisis, the slump in investment returns, and the rocketing price of geriatric care homes, he is forced to go on working at the age of 76. Although struggling to afford the hair implants, botox and fake tan to carry on his job as a cabaret singer, Arnold is far too feisty to stay at home and expect work to come to him. Under the assumed name of Englebert Humperdinck (which only a few square and stuffy people would associate with a nineteenth-century German composer of operas) he is travelling as far as Azerbaijan in search of gainful employment. He bravely ignored the demonstrations of protesters who wanted to spoil the show by drawing attention to the human rights abuses of the Azerbaijani government.

Alas, Arnold finds that the competition is stiff and the selection is ruthless. This is not all about ageism. A group of six scantily-dressed Russian bimbos whose account of their own age as "over 70" was euphemistic in the extreme, scored way ahead of him in the contest.

Never mind - give him the credit for trying. He is an example to us all. He made use of his right to travel freely in the EU and proved that peripatetic job-seeking is not just for Polish plumbers.

Maybe next Eurovision we should send Cathy Ashton instead to represent us? With all the money she is spending on a PR makeover, by then she will be irresistible!

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